Fitness of body and mind

I’m going to try to describe in English what it was like to be in the Olympics of the Mind this week. But the experience has cut so deep, that I might have to use my mother tongue to truly express my feelings. We’ll see.

I was riding my guts off on a bike in the middle of el Camino de Santiago when I learnt that I qualified for the last round of exams in a competition that could eventually lead me to became a civil servant in the European Union. This long caressed dream of mine had been coming and going in different moments of my life but this time, after a weak translation test, I definitely considered it a long gone ambition. So when I found out that I could move on to the AC stage, I felt like a retired athlete who’s been enrolled in the Olympic team simply because they can’t find enough people to fill in. But at the same time, it didn’t surprise me. Windows of opportunity like this have opened for me all along the way. Some windows I’ve crossed, others I chose to close or I let somebody shut them for me.

But boy, this is something I thought I deserved. This could be the epitome of my professional career, the sea to which all my rivers flow. I took to the task with an enthusiasm I hadn’t felt since my last Championship in 2010 and I amazed at the state of flow I found myself in. I could study for hours on end and I took so much pleasure in learning that I hated myself for not having started before. After el Camino I was fit as a fiddle and I think this helped to brush up my lazy grey cells and pile in them the tons of knowledge I needed to succeed. During the last weeks it was citius, altius, fortius, I felt sexy and bright as I had only felt ten years ago when I was a wild sexy beast in a suit, a corporate lawyer.

Finally, the day arrived: I crossed my Rubicon and I went, I saw and I’m not sure I won. I don’t feel I did my best and I hardly stood the pressure. This old hen of mine awed at the chicks I saw compete side by side with me, and when it was over, I said to myself, ‘What were you thinking of? A medal, really?’ I was shattered with exhaustion and despair for a few hours after what I considered a very poor performance. I felt naked and cold. I crawled in a corner and cried. Then it dawned on me that I had many reasons to be so proud of me. Gosh, I had been in the Olympics!

So here I am. I’ve climbed up the stage to join the party and I’m enjoying the moment. At some point I’ll see my scores on the screen, but the outcome doesn’t matter, because this experience has helped me come out of the dark hole I’ve been in for the past four years. I’m back and I’m here to stay (metaphorically speaking – you know what my plans are.)

At this very moment I’m hearing a voice through the PA system shouting at me, ‘Athletes, please leave the stage. Atletas, por favor bajen del escenario’ but I´m dancing my feet off, I´m having a great time and I won´t be pulled down.

N.B. I found inspiration for this post in an article a read a few days ago. Albert Oliver’s quoted words described how he had explained to his kids the fact he had been selected to play in the Spanish team despite being so old. He mentioned certain ‘windows’ and I thought he meant ‘windows of opportunity’, but today I’ve understood he actually meant FIBA windows 😀

‘The windows are where teams will play the qualifying games. Each of the six windows are nine days in length. Each team will play two games in each window, on a home-and-away basis.’