Cyclist in a ditch

I was 16 and it was summer

Riding my bike to the pine woods

It was hot and I was sour

And gloomy and heartbroken

‘Cos I fancied a boy that ignored me

Standard teeny blues

Then I saw something in the distance

In a ditch

On the side of the bike path

As I approached I realised

It was a cyclist on the ground

Lying motionless by his bike

I went past

I didn’t stop

I don’t know why I didn’t stop

Whether fear, indecision or what

Sheer selfishness maybe

In fact I did stop

A few seconds later

Saw two cyclists in the distance

And breathed out

They’d know what to do

I resumed my pedalling

Half an hour later

U turn and back

I went past the same spot

That same couple was still there

A woman tending to the fallen cyclist

A man glaring at me with incredulity

I saw he had recognised me

I was the one who hadn’t stopped

I was the one who hadn’t helped

Neither did I stop this time

As I saw hatred in his eyes

I thought no wonder

I thought what’s the point

Of trying to explain

What can’t be explained

So I never stopped

This event has haunted me all my life

For months years even

I looked up in the press

At the periodicals section in the library

The fate of that fallen cyclist

Had he just fainted or was he dead

I never learnt the truth

I believe

My fate shook hands with his that day

A teenager will one day go past me

Cyclist in a ditch

And she will not stop

Out of fear, indecision

Or sheer selfishness