I travel with a male companion, my soulmate, but he’s so much stronger and faster than I am, and he takes so much pain in adapting to my pace, that I prefer that he goes ahead and I follow, sometimes many kilometres behind. Essentially, I’m a lone traveller during the day but I’ve got someone to share my experiences with in the evening, once we reach our destination for the day.
Our way of travelling works perfectly for us, but it rises eyebrows everywhere we go. For a start, I get to suffer the paternalism of men who offer to help or carry me. I hate having to resort to the typical, ‘Don’t worry, my husband is right ahead of me’, but when I do, most men just chuckle and even say, ‘Yeah right, just ahead of you’, as if I were lying. And then he gets critisized, ‘How do you dare to leave your woman ALONE? Anything could happen to her!’ For most people, family and friends included, I’m being literally abandoned by my partner every single day. In a doomed loop, every day I’m left to my fate and anything horrible could happen to me during our trips.
To all those who fear for my lone travelling: Thanks for worrying but please be aware that I do not belong to my husband and he doesn’t have a duty to protect me or be with me at all times. I’m not useless, I’m not a damsel in distress nor a child, I’ve got my strengths, my experience and technical knowledge, my negotiation skills and my ways out. Of course I sometimes feel lonely and I’ve got my fears and my insecurities but this doesn’t mean I can’t make it on my own. And if I can’t make it on my own, don’t worry, I’ll ask for help, but do not assume I need somebody just because I’m a woman.
A bunch of women have started a fanzine in Spanish, ‘Juntas no estamos solas‘ (Together we’re not alone), where they raise awareness of their strengths and the problems they still face in their trips. In this sexist world we’re living in this initiative feels like a drop in the ocean but it is a powerful start. #Me too, fellow sisters. Together we’re stronger!
* Wow-men, in my own definition, are men who believe their sheer presence will rise admiration among women.
InTerCleta: agente en bicicleta 