Being a woman sucks (it does not) II

Society does enough already to discriminate you, so in general you should not let anyone tell you that being a woman sucks. Not even if it’s a woman who says so. I mean, I myself am annoyed at the physical side of being a woman, but that’s it. In general, I try to make a stand and fight for my right to do and wear whatever I want.

Unfortunately there are times when you’ll find there’s not much you can do.

Along the way, in your trips, you’ll find people who’ll try to humiliate or abuse you just for being a woman. I don’t have the best recipe against a discriminating attitude – you’ll have to decide for yourself depending on the situation, but here are some tips:

1. Know the laws and regulations of the countries you’re visiting. What is legal in your country might be illegal in others. For instance, in some countries it’s illegal for a woman to have sex unless you’re married and your sex partner is your very own husband. You may even have to prove that you’re married in order to book a room in a hotel.

2. Know the customs and traditions regarding body language and body exposure. A simple thing, such as holding hands or showing your legs might be considered offensive and immoral.

3. Try to be tolerant. What offends you might be a cultural thing, so deeply rooted that people do not even notice they’re offending you. I remember getting annoyed in some rural areas of Slovakia because men would only talk to my husband – even if it was me the only person who would understand them if they spoke German (one of the foreign languages Slovaks tend to learn). I though it to be a sexist attitude but I don’t know, maybe in some cultures it’s considered disrespectful to talk to somebody’s wife or even look at her. During another trip, it was me who offended a guy in El Aaiun for telling him that his wife was very friendly. He pointed out she was only friendly ‘to women’, implying that being friendly to another man would be slutty.

Yeah, it sucks, but what can you do? I try not to judge and I’m very careful when it comes to lecturing people. When I was in Western Sahara, I talked to women when men were not present – that way they felt free to ask questions.

In some situations, I have to admit it, I’ve had to swallow my pride and shut up because I feared for my safety, or even my husband’s. In such cases I’ve had to continue my trip with a heavy heart, feeling impotent that two people cannot change a country – but hoping to have planted some seeds of rebellion which might eventually bear fruit.

If you happen to be reading this and you are sexist, fanatic, intolerant or homophobic, this song is for you.